I have been thinking about how to write this blog post for a long, long time. In my head I know what I want to write, I just have been unable to communicate it properly as soon as the typing starts. This one is especially important as it is all to do about how we as naturalists/filmmakers and conservationists communicate to the general public. This is what I really care about.
It has honestly being going around my head for weeks now, ideas, thoughts, quotes, you name it. First of all, what I am going to be is blunt and honest and say that as a profession we are pretty poor at communicating to everyone else, and the planet is not getting any healthier. The problem is that wildlife conservation is seen as a niche, a fashion statement so to speak, a topic and subject that is trending now and again, but is not really taken seriously and is not connected to the real issues of our economies, health system's, education systems and communities, because if it was then our politicians would not be kicking us into the bin, which is what they are basically doing. To put it simply, wildlife conservation is not seen important enough to do anything for, which makes me so, so sad and becomes even more ridiculous every time you read that, over and over again.
To sum it all up, our Prime Minister, David Cameron has recently said that he wants to do away 'with all the green crap', when it comes to our energy bills. Speechless...
If things are to really change, we need a bigger movement, a shift in our communities and to do this we need to stop preaching to the 'converted' (I hate saying that as we are not a religion) and to take a different direction. I know what this direction is, but I am going to stew on the idea until I really get it right. This then leads me to the alternatives to our government, if we really care about our environment, who do we vote for? (Unless you are Russell Brand and you do not vote, and I totally understand his views on politics).
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the Green Party, surely? I am an environmentalist and love the outdoors, so surely I would vote for them? And yet, I am not sure, there is just something about the party that makes me back off and think about this, which I hate saying (apologies to The Green Party).
But why? Why am I so apprehensive about the Green Party? Considering how much I love wildlife. I think, like many organisations they are stuck a bit in the 1980's or 1990's, a bit this, a bit that and not really with it, so to speak. It is really hard to explain, but I just do not think they are 'real-life' enough, which goes back to the start of this post. They suffer from the same problem as we all do, they are just not seen as relevant. A bit of a fashion statement.
I could talk about this for hours, so to cut things short, if I were to lead the green party I would be more direct, more aggressive, more clear on my policies, I would create a link between the environment and how it can help the economy, our families, our energy worries and tackle issues that effect the lives of everyday people. (They may actually be doing this, I am just not aware of it). Basically, there are decades of scientific research to show how the environment can make us happier, healthier and help grow our economy, we need to embrace it and to tackle things head on. Stop being a movement/party on the side and to actually start wrestling with everyone else. At the moment, they are too quiet, I would also consider a name change as well as Green party just makes me think of activism, rather than a body capable of running the country.
The ethos would be community and social engagement, to create a different identity for the MP's of the Green Party compared to everyone else, I want real-life MP's that people can engage with (tough, I know). We also need to do this for the environmental movement as well, or nothing will change quick enough.
Here is one final thought. Imagine how amazing it would be, imagine the social change if Cheryl Cole, Andy Murray and other high-profile 'celebrities' (do not like that word at all) started speaking out about conservation issues as well as working as patrons for wildlife charities. It would change everything. There is your different route...
slq
Showing posts with label wildlife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wildlife. Show all posts
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
The Problems with Being Green
Hi all,
So...I have been thinking, pondering and drafting as to how to write this blog post. What do I say? How do I say it? Does anyone read this? All of these thoughts have passed through my very active mind during the past weeks and this is what I have come up with. First of all though, a quick update.
Birdfair
I had the amazing privilege to attend Birdfair 2013 in Rutland a few weeks back and the original idea was to dedicate a blog post to it, but there have been many blog posts about this amazing wildlife festival (one can be found here: http://wildeaboutbirds.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/rutland-bird-fair-2013-people-not-bird.html). This is a post by the awesome Finlay Wilde, a young chap who gives me hope for the future. To sum up Birdfair, it was all about meeting amazing people, exchanging ideas, creating friendships and doing as much bird-watching as humanly possible. I could not have asked for more, so thank you to everyone that I met.
Me
Well, to say that my life is a roller-coaster would pretty much sum things up over the past few weeks. Many things have happened, but most are quite personal and I cannot really say. One thing is that I am single once again, my depression is still with me, but under more and more control and I am definitely heading in the right direction. I am now also taking swimming lessons (for a reason to be revealed at a later date), am playing football again AND my families of Swallows have decided to nest again, which has put a big smile on my face. It will be a sad day when they leave for the warmth of Africa.
The Post
Anyhow, the reason why I feel the need to do a piece of writing is that after a session with my amazing Life Coach/Counsellor (http://www.helloglowcoaching.com) the issue of how conservationists and naturalists are perceived came into the conversation, and it has made me think a considerable amount as to how we are all perceived by the media and general public.
Communicating about the natural world is one of my great passions, I want to be on the radio, television and leading guided walks to tell people how lucky we are and how important the natural world is to all of our lives.
The problem with being green is that we all come across a little too negative, a movement that is in the back, fighting for what is right for us and wildlife, but not for the economy or for the normal person, a movement that is quite selfish, old and just moans all of the time. Harsh, but true, and in my current job the media just treat all wildlife stories as a side project, a bit of quirky fun that fills the last few seconds of a news programme.
But why?...why? why? why? It is something that I do not really have an answer for to be honest, but it is something I am determined to change. This is the planet we live on we are talking about, not some fashion product. This is where we live.
The truth is, the environmental movement does not just fight for wildlife, but for people, for the economy and to try and create another way of life that will be happier, cheaper and less harmful to all of us. Greening cities, more open spaces, community programs to bring people together and bring smiles to peoples faces. One question to ask yourself...When the weather is sunny, warm and pleasant, where do we all go? Inside?...
There is no doubting that we are destroying this planet, big time, and if it crumbles into dust, then who do you think will suffer? Us. Food prices will go up, the economy will crash... etc etc etc, blah, blah, blah...I do not want to preach and tell you what will happen (I will leave that to Greenpeace etc).
The thing is, we cannot go on like we are. On the flip side we have this incredible, amazing, once in a lifetime, once in human history opportunity to change the way we live. Something that can be so positive and solve many of the problems we face. The research is there, the technology is there, but the communication and public image is not and that is something that needs to change. It is something I am determined to change, for my family, for wildlife and for everyone else.
Here is one brilliant story I will leave you with:
http://www.livescience.com/6399-5-minutes-nature-boost-mental-health.html
SLQ
So...I have been thinking, pondering and drafting as to how to write this blog post. What do I say? How do I say it? Does anyone read this? All of these thoughts have passed through my very active mind during the past weeks and this is what I have come up with. First of all though, a quick update.
Birdfair
I had the amazing privilege to attend Birdfair 2013 in Rutland a few weeks back and the original idea was to dedicate a blog post to it, but there have been many blog posts about this amazing wildlife festival (one can be found here: http://wildeaboutbirds.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/rutland-bird-fair-2013-people-not-bird.html). This is a post by the awesome Finlay Wilde, a young chap who gives me hope for the future. To sum up Birdfair, it was all about meeting amazing people, exchanging ideas, creating friendships and doing as much bird-watching as humanly possible. I could not have asked for more, so thank you to everyone that I met.
Me
Well, to say that my life is a roller-coaster would pretty much sum things up over the past few weeks. Many things have happened, but most are quite personal and I cannot really say. One thing is that I am single once again, my depression is still with me, but under more and more control and I am definitely heading in the right direction. I am now also taking swimming lessons (for a reason to be revealed at a later date), am playing football again AND my families of Swallows have decided to nest again, which has put a big smile on my face. It will be a sad day when they leave for the warmth of Africa.
The Post
Anyhow, the reason why I feel the need to do a piece of writing is that after a session with my amazing Life Coach/Counsellor (http://www.helloglowcoaching.com) the issue of how conservationists and naturalists are perceived came into the conversation, and it has made me think a considerable amount as to how we are all perceived by the media and general public.
Communicating about the natural world is one of my great passions, I want to be on the radio, television and leading guided walks to tell people how lucky we are and how important the natural world is to all of our lives.
The problem with being green is that we all come across a little too negative, a movement that is in the back, fighting for what is right for us and wildlife, but not for the economy or for the normal person, a movement that is quite selfish, old and just moans all of the time. Harsh, but true, and in my current job the media just treat all wildlife stories as a side project, a bit of quirky fun that fills the last few seconds of a news programme.
But why?...why? why? why? It is something that I do not really have an answer for to be honest, but it is something I am determined to change. This is the planet we live on we are talking about, not some fashion product. This is where we live.
The truth is, the environmental movement does not just fight for wildlife, but for people, for the economy and to try and create another way of life that will be happier, cheaper and less harmful to all of us. Greening cities, more open spaces, community programs to bring people together and bring smiles to peoples faces. One question to ask yourself...When the weather is sunny, warm and pleasant, where do we all go? Inside?...
There is no doubting that we are destroying this planet, big time, and if it crumbles into dust, then who do you think will suffer? Us. Food prices will go up, the economy will crash... etc etc etc, blah, blah, blah...I do not want to preach and tell you what will happen (I will leave that to Greenpeace etc).
The thing is, we cannot go on like we are. On the flip side we have this incredible, amazing, once in a lifetime, once in human history opportunity to change the way we live. Something that can be so positive and solve many of the problems we face. The research is there, the technology is there, but the communication and public image is not and that is something that needs to change. It is something I am determined to change, for my family, for wildlife and for everyone else.
Here is one brilliant story I will leave you with:
http://www.livescience.com/6399-5-minutes-nature-boost-mental-health.html
SLQ
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
This is Who I am...
Hey all,
Are you ready for this one?...
I suppose I have not been honest about everything I want to achieve as I did not want to come across as arrogant or someone that seeks the limelight for the wrong reasons.
So here you go Linzi, this is for you and for everyone else who knows me and believes in me...
So who am I? I am me, a naturalist/conservationist/scientist and someone who has a passion for the natural world, who believes in the natural world and who will protect it for the rest of my life.
This passion inside me I have ignored in the past just due to sheer embarrassment and insecurity of feeling different...but no more. I have this light and burning desire inside of me that from now on I am going to embrace, but I will need all of your help.
Throughout my whole life all I have ever wanted to do is good, to do the right thing and be a hero, yes that sounds a bit silly but it is true. I want to stand up and be counted, to lead and create an example for everyone else to gain inspiration from.
This planet is amazing, it is special, unique, crazy, beautiful, ridiculous, inspiring and brutally honest and I want to be here to save it, to stand up and be a role model.
There has been quite a bit of talk lately about the successor of David Attenborough and to be honest there will never be one as he is unique. What we do need is more of is conservation heroes, people in the public eye who people trust and who do the right thing and that is who I want to be.
I have a desire to be that hero, to chat on the radio, to go on the talk shows, to make wildlife programmes and to communicate all that I can about the natural world. I want to be a wildlife television presenter and be the best me I can be, not the best Attenborough I can be, but the best of what I could possibly be.
Not only this but in the future I want to also set my own charity. A charity that focuses on environmental communication that involved education, wildlife filming and photography in the community. Like Gerald Durrell had a vision for his world changing zoo, which I visit weekly, I know exactly what I want. A network of community based wildlife education centres (farms) that run programmes such as Forest School, a place for the community where people can meet, enjoy wildlife and become inspired by it. I want something different, something that will change not only the natural world but the lives of people as well.
Bloody hell, that is pretty big ay? I told you I was going to be honest and that is all I ever try and be. The thing is, I cannot do this alone, none of us who work in the environmental area can, we need the public to care, to help and get involved.
I think I will leave it there for now as I need some sleep and I am pretty shattered. Hopefully I have made some sense and said something new and not come across as arrogant, even though that is probably just me being insecure and paranoid.
At the end of the day I just want to do some good as integrity is so important to me. Yes I have my problems with my mental health but I am not afraid of them and fingers crossed that they are now being dealt with and I have come out of the other side.
I actually feel quite embarrassed to have written this but it is out there now and most of the credit for that goes to Linzi. Thank you Linzi...
Lets hope you hear a lot more from me in the future, lets hope the next journey starts here...
SLQ
Thursday, December 13, 2012
The Tragedy of Plemont
Hi all,
I do not know how I am going to write this post or what I am going to say but I will do my best as I am pretty emotional right now.
For anyone that does not know I work for the National Trust for Jersey as their wildlife education officer but during the past weeks i have pushed my education tasks to the side to help with the campaign to save a part of the island's north coast from development. This place is called Plemont and is situated in the north-west of the island and has already had a derelict holiday campy on it for as long as i can remember.
The issue for our government to decide was whether they were going to negotiate with the owner to buy the land back for the people of Jersey and then sell to the Trust so that we can open the land up and return it to coastland heathland. In the end the debate was lost by one vote so there will now be 28 luxury homes built on our coastline, basically a luxury housing estate. I cannot really describe how I feel and I know for a fact that the public have been persuaded by the developer pouring out facts that are just not correct, which really hurts.
I must admit that on my way home I had a bit of a cry, I am even a bit tearful now to be honest. I am so gutted and heartbroken, I feel like we have failed not just the wildlife but future generations. This was a massive opportunity to do something right that will last forever and to show that we do care about Jersey and we have the courage to stand up against developers. As soon as the decision was made we received some phone calls about people who live round the area who have young families, telling us that they are going to have to move home because of the increase in traffic, noise and pollution. I hope the politicians that voted against realise the consequences of their decision.
I hope people realise that the Trust is a very small team. We have no marketing or campaign people and most of our staff have ignored their normal jobs to work on this campaign. All of this effort has only really come from 2 people, one of which has had a life threatening illness. I myself have been working 12 hour days to help out. The Trust is not a rich or large organisation and we only have 3 full time members of staff in the office.
There are also a few facts that have been brought up by most people as to why they were against the purchasing of Plemont. They have been driven into our heads by the developer, but are in fact not true. I will now explain:
1. The developer will return 2/3 of the site to nature - A figure that has seduced the public into thinking we are getting a lot for nothing, this is not true. The actual figure is 30% as much of the landed promised to be returned IS ALREADY OWNED BY THE STATES or is in between the houses and will be a landscaped green. This land in the middle is basically dead space and so will have to be managed using taxpayers money.
2. The site is worth £14 million - This is the figure that the developer wants for the site, IT DOES NOT MEAN that it is worth this much. Independent valuations set the market price for the land at between £4-6 million. The £14 million includes the profit that the developer wants to make, something that is by law, not included when valuing a site. The Trust was committed to paying £3 million of this. (Just so you know the owner payed around £5 million for the site so is likely to make a profit of £10 million).
3. The buildings will not impose on the landscape - Again this is untrue. One of the clusters of houses is set right against the cliff and the development will be visible from Grosnez and Sorel Point. There is now also the potential of more development in the future.
4. The money used will be better spent in other areas such as health and education - The is again is mis-leading as the money was coming from the emergency contingency fund. This money will never be allocated to anything else as the states have already agreed their financial plan for the next 3 years. They have actually increased spending on health and education.
There are plenty more of these but one that needs to be said is that the developer has also bought the 3 green fields around the site. Coincidence? Not likely, as this means nobody from the surrounding area can now appeal the decision as they are too far away, plus they may even build on these in the future.
It makes me so sad that the general public seems to have believed everything the developer and architect have said. They have basically lied to the public and you will see this when the houses are built.
What worries me most though is the lack of basic knowledge that our politicians have regarding our natural environment. The eco-system of the headland is going to be ruined forever with severe complications that will in the end cost the taxpayer money forever.
The main underlying point is that to have a health and vibrant economy you need a healthy and vibrant natural environment, which has been proven by decades of scientific research. Our planet contributes billions to our economy and it cost us trillions to solve the problems that we have already caused.
There is also the fact that open spaces improve our physical and mental well-being as well as create a sense of belonging and reduce crime. In a small island such as ours we need open space to get away from it all, to relax and is of the upmost importance as the World Health Organisation predicts that mental health problems will be the 2nd largest health issue by 2020.
All in all I am pretty gutted at the moment and I am sure that when people see the housing development they will ask questions as to why it happened and that the developers plans look different to the actual reality. The legacy of these housing estate will now be with the 25 states members who voted for it and I know that in 10/20/30 years time they will regret their decisions. It is such a shame that the PR machine of the developers seems to have even won over our elected members of government.
If you are reading this I urge you to investigate what the National Trust for Jersey does because they are a great charity that will continue to fight for the protection of our coastline and open spaces. They will continue to question and battle against inappropriate development and protect Jersey's natural heritage. The Trust is an independent charity that does not receive any financial support from the government (unlike Jersey Heritage who receive around £2.5 million per year).
One thing I am going to do tomorrow is to go to Plemont to take some pictures before the bulldozers move in and change the landscape forever.
I am going to leave by saying that this is a decision that will last forever. It is one that my children and their children will now have to live with and I am so sorry for that. Jersey has just lost another part of it that makes it special.
SLQ
I do not know how I am going to write this post or what I am going to say but I will do my best as I am pretty emotional right now.
For anyone that does not know I work for the National Trust for Jersey as their wildlife education officer but during the past weeks i have pushed my education tasks to the side to help with the campaign to save a part of the island's north coast from development. This place is called Plemont and is situated in the north-west of the island and has already had a derelict holiday campy on it for as long as i can remember.
The issue for our government to decide was whether they were going to negotiate with the owner to buy the land back for the people of Jersey and then sell to the Trust so that we can open the land up and return it to coastland heathland. In the end the debate was lost by one vote so there will now be 28 luxury homes built on our coastline, basically a luxury housing estate. I cannot really describe how I feel and I know for a fact that the public have been persuaded by the developer pouring out facts that are just not correct, which really hurts.
I must admit that on my way home I had a bit of a cry, I am even a bit tearful now to be honest. I am so gutted and heartbroken, I feel like we have failed not just the wildlife but future generations. This was a massive opportunity to do something right that will last forever and to show that we do care about Jersey and we have the courage to stand up against developers. As soon as the decision was made we received some phone calls about people who live round the area who have young families, telling us that they are going to have to move home because of the increase in traffic, noise and pollution. I hope the politicians that voted against realise the consequences of their decision.
I hope people realise that the Trust is a very small team. We have no marketing or campaign people and most of our staff have ignored their normal jobs to work on this campaign. All of this effort has only really come from 2 people, one of which has had a life threatening illness. I myself have been working 12 hour days to help out. The Trust is not a rich or large organisation and we only have 3 full time members of staff in the office.
There are also a few facts that have been brought up by most people as to why they were against the purchasing of Plemont. They have been driven into our heads by the developer, but are in fact not true. I will now explain:
1. The developer will return 2/3 of the site to nature - A figure that has seduced the public into thinking we are getting a lot for nothing, this is not true. The actual figure is 30% as much of the landed promised to be returned IS ALREADY OWNED BY THE STATES or is in between the houses and will be a landscaped green. This land in the middle is basically dead space and so will have to be managed using taxpayers money.
2. The site is worth £14 million - This is the figure that the developer wants for the site, IT DOES NOT MEAN that it is worth this much. Independent valuations set the market price for the land at between £4-6 million. The £14 million includes the profit that the developer wants to make, something that is by law, not included when valuing a site. The Trust was committed to paying £3 million of this. (Just so you know the owner payed around £5 million for the site so is likely to make a profit of £10 million).
3. The buildings will not impose on the landscape - Again this is untrue. One of the clusters of houses is set right against the cliff and the development will be visible from Grosnez and Sorel Point. There is now also the potential of more development in the future.
4. The money used will be better spent in other areas such as health and education - The is again is mis-leading as the money was coming from the emergency contingency fund. This money will never be allocated to anything else as the states have already agreed their financial plan for the next 3 years. They have actually increased spending on health and education.
There are plenty more of these but one that needs to be said is that the developer has also bought the 3 green fields around the site. Coincidence? Not likely, as this means nobody from the surrounding area can now appeal the decision as they are too far away, plus they may even build on these in the future.
It makes me so sad that the general public seems to have believed everything the developer and architect have said. They have basically lied to the public and you will see this when the houses are built.
What worries me most though is the lack of basic knowledge that our politicians have regarding our natural environment. The eco-system of the headland is going to be ruined forever with severe complications that will in the end cost the taxpayer money forever.
The main underlying point is that to have a health and vibrant economy you need a healthy and vibrant natural environment, which has been proven by decades of scientific research. Our planet contributes billions to our economy and it cost us trillions to solve the problems that we have already caused.
There is also the fact that open spaces improve our physical and mental well-being as well as create a sense of belonging and reduce crime. In a small island such as ours we need open space to get away from it all, to relax and is of the upmost importance as the World Health Organisation predicts that mental health problems will be the 2nd largest health issue by 2020.
All in all I am pretty gutted at the moment and I am sure that when people see the housing development they will ask questions as to why it happened and that the developers plans look different to the actual reality. The legacy of these housing estate will now be with the 25 states members who voted for it and I know that in 10/20/30 years time they will regret their decisions. It is such a shame that the PR machine of the developers seems to have even won over our elected members of government.
If you are reading this I urge you to investigate what the National Trust for Jersey does because they are a great charity that will continue to fight for the protection of our coastline and open spaces. They will continue to question and battle against inappropriate development and protect Jersey's natural heritage. The Trust is an independent charity that does not receive any financial support from the government (unlike Jersey Heritage who receive around £2.5 million per year).
One thing I am going to do tomorrow is to go to Plemont to take some pictures before the bulldozers move in and change the landscape forever.
I am going to leave by saying that this is a decision that will last forever. It is one that my children and their children will now have to live with and I am so sorry for that. Jersey has just lost another part of it that makes it special.
SLQ
Monday, June 25, 2012
The Wildlife Film Academy - Part 1
Hi all,
I am currently sitting in my room, the sun is breaking through the clouds outside and the wind is slight and calm. It has been a week since my return from Botswana and the Wildlife Film Academy and now that the dust has cleared and i am more organised it is time to write something about it.
The Wildife Film Academy (WFA) is run by NHU Africa (www.nhuafrica.com) and is a one month intense course designed to give all participants a firm foundation in wildlife film-making and the industry. It is a course i had been wanting to do for over a year but mainly due to work commitments and financial constraints i had to patiently wait until last month to set off.
Ever since i came back from the Meerkat Project my sights have been set on the filmmaking industry, i know that i am clear in my mind as to how i think documentaries should be made, how presenters should present and the stories that need to be told. The main thing though is that i want to know the industry inside out, i am eager to learn. My goals are to present, narrate and make my own films.
For this course the WFA was being run from Maun in Botswana which is the gateway to the Okavango Delta, this meant an 11 hour flight to Johannesburg and then a 3 hour flight to Maun. To be honest i did not mind the flying as i love the independence of it all and i was setting off to do something that i knew i was going to love.
The first point of call was to meet with everyone at Maun at 3pm, the only problem was my flight came in a 12, which meant 3 hours of waiting in an airport i had no clue about, i mean for all i knew it just could have been a shed, but luckily for me it was not. Once we landed the warmth and charm of Africa rushed back to me and i felt like i had returned to my 2nd home. Once in the airpoirt i passed through customs which consisted of two very jolly officials in the smallest wooden compartments i had ever seen that had probably made before i was born. Then the bags were dropped off (i love the simplicty) and i was free to go.
The next step was for me to find a chair, prop up my bags and wait for the cavalry. Being alone in an unknown airport in the middle of nowhere with the African sun outside was a great thrill to me and i enjoyed just looking around and watching the people go about their business. The people of Botswana seemed very laid back and keen to talk to one another. Some chatted in groups while others walked around and calmly got on with their jobs. It was such a change from London and the UK method of doing things.
My wait for companionship though was not long as through a bit of eye contact and a couple of questions i meet one of the other course participants Marli in arrivals and not long after that Khanyo the WFA chief worked calmly through the door. I had a very, very good feeling about him.
From here on in it was all systems go, me and Marli were introduced to the other course participants taking us up to the grand figure of 6 and we then said hello to Jurgen and Tarina our teachers and filmmakers. I cannot really describe easily this amazing couple from Germany, Jurgen has been making films for decades with Tarina and they know the business inside out. What i did not know is that they were the ones who were going to push our films into some of the best ever the academy had produced.
Maun as a town was very much like i expected, a few shopping centres, one main tarmac road, dust everywhere, cars, small metal shacks on the side of the road and people rushing around. Everyone though was polite and friendly and not once did i feel threatened. I flipping loved it.
Our first stop was Camp Tsutsubega Farm, where for 9 days we were going to be taught everything we need to know about the wildlife film-making industry. We were also their to get our films together, learn how to film and handle the camera and to also create our shot lists for filming.
As we drove to the camp we had out first sight of the Delta, which looked magnificent, it had only recently pushed through the town and it was amazing to know that this water had started as storms in Angola and had travelled thousands of miles to where we were.
It took us around 2 hours to go to the first camp and as the sun started to drop i put on my wind breaker jacket and sucked in the clean African air. The drive took us out of Maun and as we drove i made sure i waved to the local people to say hello, who then kindly waved back. Despite the poverty that i witnessed along the way their was always a warm welcome from everyone.
We arrived at camp just as the light faded away. We quickly all grabbed our torches and then went off for a very nice dinner. Once dinner was wolfed down we grabbed our bags and everyone was shown the toilet facilities (long drop!, see picture below), the showers (with Marli, see below) and our tents. I was expecting tent accomodation but what i found was a tent much bigger then expected (see above) with room for all my kit as well as a small washbowl outside so i could brush my teeth. For me this was luxury and i was in my element. I went to bed a very happy man with the reed frogs of the Delta belting out their mating calls and the screeches of monkeys in the trees above. It was great to be back in Africa and i was raring to go...
To be continued...
I am currently sitting in my room, the sun is breaking through the clouds outside and the wind is slight and calm. It has been a week since my return from Botswana and the Wildlife Film Academy and now that the dust has cleared and i am more organised it is time to write something about it.
The Wildife Film Academy (WFA) is run by NHU Africa (www.nhuafrica.com) and is a one month intense course designed to give all participants a firm foundation in wildlife film-making and the industry. It is a course i had been wanting to do for over a year but mainly due to work commitments and financial constraints i had to patiently wait until last month to set off.
Ever since i came back from the Meerkat Project my sights have been set on the filmmaking industry, i know that i am clear in my mind as to how i think documentaries should be made, how presenters should present and the stories that need to be told. The main thing though is that i want to know the industry inside out, i am eager to learn. My goals are to present, narrate and make my own films.
For this course the WFA was being run from Maun in Botswana which is the gateway to the Okavango Delta, this meant an 11 hour flight to Johannesburg and then a 3 hour flight to Maun. To be honest i did not mind the flying as i love the independence of it all and i was setting off to do something that i knew i was going to love.
The first point of call was to meet with everyone at Maun at 3pm, the only problem was my flight came in a 12, which meant 3 hours of waiting in an airport i had no clue about, i mean for all i knew it just could have been a shed, but luckily for me it was not. Once we landed the warmth and charm of Africa rushed back to me and i felt like i had returned to my 2nd home. Once in the airpoirt i passed through customs which consisted of two very jolly officials in the smallest wooden compartments i had ever seen that had probably made before i was born. Then the bags were dropped off (i love the simplicty) and i was free to go.
The next step was for me to find a chair, prop up my bags and wait for the cavalry. Being alone in an unknown airport in the middle of nowhere with the African sun outside was a great thrill to me and i enjoyed just looking around and watching the people go about their business. The people of Botswana seemed very laid back and keen to talk to one another. Some chatted in groups while others walked around and calmly got on with their jobs. It was such a change from London and the UK method of doing things.
My wait for companionship though was not long as through a bit of eye contact and a couple of questions i meet one of the other course participants Marli in arrivals and not long after that Khanyo the WFA chief worked calmly through the door. I had a very, very good feeling about him.
From here on in it was all systems go, me and Marli were introduced to the other course participants taking us up to the grand figure of 6 and we then said hello to Jurgen and Tarina our teachers and filmmakers. I cannot really describe easily this amazing couple from Germany, Jurgen has been making films for decades with Tarina and they know the business inside out. What i did not know is that they were the ones who were going to push our films into some of the best ever the academy had produced.
Maun as a town was very much like i expected, a few shopping centres, one main tarmac road, dust everywhere, cars, small metal shacks on the side of the road and people rushing around. Everyone though was polite and friendly and not once did i feel threatened. I flipping loved it.
Our first stop was Camp Tsutsubega Farm, where for 9 days we were going to be taught everything we need to know about the wildlife film-making industry. We were also their to get our films together, learn how to film and handle the camera and to also create our shot lists for filming.
As we drove to the camp we had out first sight of the Delta, which looked magnificent, it had only recently pushed through the town and it was amazing to know that this water had started as storms in Angola and had travelled thousands of miles to where we were.
It took us around 2 hours to go to the first camp and as the sun started to drop i put on my wind breaker jacket and sucked in the clean African air. The drive took us out of Maun and as we drove i made sure i waved to the local people to say hello, who then kindly waved back. Despite the poverty that i witnessed along the way their was always a warm welcome from everyone.
We arrived at camp just as the light faded away. We quickly all grabbed our torches and then went off for a very nice dinner. Once dinner was wolfed down we grabbed our bags and everyone was shown the toilet facilities (long drop!, see picture below), the showers (with Marli, see below) and our tents. I was expecting tent accomodation but what i found was a tent much bigger then expected (see above) with room for all my kit as well as a small washbowl outside so i could brush my teeth. For me this was luxury and i was in my element. I went to bed a very happy man with the reed frogs of the Delta belting out their mating calls and the screeches of monkeys in the trees above. It was great to be back in Africa and i was raring to go...
To be continued...
Monday, December 12, 2011
My unknown battle with Depression
This is going to be quite a difficult post to write as you may have guessed from the title, but it is a story that i feel i need to tell for myself and for others who have felt the same or do feel the same right now.
What i am going to try and do is explain my battle with anxiety and depression by going through what has happened to me over the years, how i have felt, how i have dealt with things and how i have only just realised what i have been through.
There have been a few sparks in my life that have slowly made me turn the corner as of late, one of these being my lovely caring girlfriend, someone i did not expect i would ever meet. The other was passing my black belt karate grading yesterday, something i have been working towards for the past 15 years and fills me with alot of pride and confidence as well as a huge sense of achievement. And this is where the story starts...
I started karate when i was 12 years old as i was having a terrible time at school with bullies. I was bullied on a daily basis for reasons that i still to this day are unsure of, and even when typing about it now i can feel all of the emotions returning. The bullying would come in a variety of forms from verbal abuse, to being spat on, to being beaten up, the problem was that it was always a gang of people, it was never one and one, which meant that i never had the chance to defend myself making me feel really helpless.
I am only realising now how the many evenings of me crying as i walked home from another awful day has influenced how i have perceive people as an adult. I would never wish what i went through upon anyone, although in a way i am proud to be the man it has made me.
As i started my A Levels this upheavel was replaced by another which was my parents divorce and to cut a long story short it was horrible, basically 5 years of court cases, crying, emotions and me doing my best to keep the family afloat (thank god for the football team at uni, those guys saved me). During this i had also had to deal with the loss of my grandparents who helped me through the divorce as well as a massive family fall out due to some inheritance, which will never be the same again (my friends are my family now). All in all it has been one hell of a rollercoaster but a rollercoaster that i felt was normal meaning i kept everything inside.
I am not writing all of this to get sympathy (i do not like sympathy as there are alot more people worse off than me), what i am trying to say is that in the past i never really understood how all of these pressures and upheavels affected who i was as a person and how the negative thoughts i felt and created would eventually set in to make me anxious and depressed and eventually persuade me to seek help.
One of the main problems i had was that i did not know i was depressed, i just thought i was a normal person with normal problems and that i was just weak for not coping like everyone else, which i realise now was actually the depression kicking in. I was certain that i was burdening people with my problems if i spoke about them which meant on a daily basis for a good two years (especially when i was in Africa) i was battling myself inside, battling my thoughts, anxieties and confidence issues and crumbling emotionally bit by bit whilst doing it.
You see on the outside i masked everything, i was in a profession i loved and worked hard to travel and study, yet on the inside i was falling to pieces and fast. The main issue was the paranoia and how i was so concerned about what people thought of me and whether they liked me or not. I just wanted to feel accepted.
What i must also say is that there was as added ingredient into this which was my passion for wildlife. You may think that having a passion and doing what you love should help, but not when all you look at are the negatives and with the planet there are alot of negatives right now and because i care so so much about wildlife it dragged me down even more with feelings of helplessness and sorrow.
I say this was my unknown battle as i just did not realise i was not supposed to be feeling like this, i just thought it was my fault and everyone was perfect apart from me. The hardest part has been to stop, look at myself and realise that yes i am not happy i need to seek help, even now after 7 sessions of therapy i am only just accepting this. It really has been hard to say that i suffer from depression, but it really is nothing to be ashamed of.
I am pretty sure it has been this tough to admit i am not happy is because as a society we still do not consider mental health issues as important and are simply portrayed as a temporary state. Believe me, they are an illness and stay with you until you deal with them like any other health concern.
I will end this post by saying there is light at the end of the tunnel for me and there always is for anyone who is going through the same thing. I have accepted my issues and with professional help i have to come understand how my problems have formed and how to deal with them. In the past i have been terribly naive with the connection between how i think and how i feel and now that i know more i feel like i am finally after all of these years coming to a point where i am happy. Even just writing this post has made me realise how bad i have felt in the past and how strong i have truel been not to have given up and to keep going. At times i have felt like giving up...
With the hectic, stressful lives that we all live in our modern society it is no surprise that more and more people are suffering from anxiety and depression no matter their profession or background and if you are one of these people then please, please, please remember that you are not strange or different, that you are not and never will be alone and that these problems can be overcome by seeking help. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Only with true inner strength can you confront your problems.
Until next time...
What i am going to try and do is explain my battle with anxiety and depression by going through what has happened to me over the years, how i have felt, how i have dealt with things and how i have only just realised what i have been through.
There have been a few sparks in my life that have slowly made me turn the corner as of late, one of these being my lovely caring girlfriend, someone i did not expect i would ever meet. The other was passing my black belt karate grading yesterday, something i have been working towards for the past 15 years and fills me with alot of pride and confidence as well as a huge sense of achievement. And this is where the story starts...
I started karate when i was 12 years old as i was having a terrible time at school with bullies. I was bullied on a daily basis for reasons that i still to this day are unsure of, and even when typing about it now i can feel all of the emotions returning. The bullying would come in a variety of forms from verbal abuse, to being spat on, to being beaten up, the problem was that it was always a gang of people, it was never one and one, which meant that i never had the chance to defend myself making me feel really helpless.
I am only realising now how the many evenings of me crying as i walked home from another awful day has influenced how i have perceive people as an adult. I would never wish what i went through upon anyone, although in a way i am proud to be the man it has made me.
As i started my A Levels this upheavel was replaced by another which was my parents divorce and to cut a long story short it was horrible, basically 5 years of court cases, crying, emotions and me doing my best to keep the family afloat (thank god for the football team at uni, those guys saved me). During this i had also had to deal with the loss of my grandparents who helped me through the divorce as well as a massive family fall out due to some inheritance, which will never be the same again (my friends are my family now). All in all it has been one hell of a rollercoaster but a rollercoaster that i felt was normal meaning i kept everything inside.
I am not writing all of this to get sympathy (i do not like sympathy as there are alot more people worse off than me), what i am trying to say is that in the past i never really understood how all of these pressures and upheavels affected who i was as a person and how the negative thoughts i felt and created would eventually set in to make me anxious and depressed and eventually persuade me to seek help.
One of the main problems i had was that i did not know i was depressed, i just thought i was a normal person with normal problems and that i was just weak for not coping like everyone else, which i realise now was actually the depression kicking in. I was certain that i was burdening people with my problems if i spoke about them which meant on a daily basis for a good two years (especially when i was in Africa) i was battling myself inside, battling my thoughts, anxieties and confidence issues and crumbling emotionally bit by bit whilst doing it.
You see on the outside i masked everything, i was in a profession i loved and worked hard to travel and study, yet on the inside i was falling to pieces and fast. The main issue was the paranoia and how i was so concerned about what people thought of me and whether they liked me or not. I just wanted to feel accepted.
What i must also say is that there was as added ingredient into this which was my passion for wildlife. You may think that having a passion and doing what you love should help, but not when all you look at are the negatives and with the planet there are alot of negatives right now and because i care so so much about wildlife it dragged me down even more with feelings of helplessness and sorrow.
I say this was my unknown battle as i just did not realise i was not supposed to be feeling like this, i just thought it was my fault and everyone was perfect apart from me. The hardest part has been to stop, look at myself and realise that yes i am not happy i need to seek help, even now after 7 sessions of therapy i am only just accepting this. It really has been hard to say that i suffer from depression, but it really is nothing to be ashamed of.
I am pretty sure it has been this tough to admit i am not happy is because as a society we still do not consider mental health issues as important and are simply portrayed as a temporary state. Believe me, they are an illness and stay with you until you deal with them like any other health concern.
I will end this post by saying there is light at the end of the tunnel for me and there always is for anyone who is going through the same thing. I have accepted my issues and with professional help i have to come understand how my problems have formed and how to deal with them. In the past i have been terribly naive with the connection between how i think and how i feel and now that i know more i feel like i am finally after all of these years coming to a point where i am happy. Even just writing this post has made me realise how bad i have felt in the past and how strong i have truel been not to have given up and to keep going. At times i have felt like giving up...
With the hectic, stressful lives that we all live in our modern society it is no surprise that more and more people are suffering from anxiety and depression no matter their profession or background and if you are one of these people then please, please, please remember that you are not strange or different, that you are not and never will be alone and that these problems can be overcome by seeking help. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Only with true inner strength can you confront your problems.
Until next time...
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